After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
