i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
