I'm going to jail i love you
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
