Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
