If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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