she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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