My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize