billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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