Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
