I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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