Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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