He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
