Fuck appropriateness.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
