Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
