u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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