This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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