Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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