She is in my trunk
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
