Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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