I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
