At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
