:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
