idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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