Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
