Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
