he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
