she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
