When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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