She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize