we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
