Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
