thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
