he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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