I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
