That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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