This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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