The maid of honor just puked.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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