I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
