question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
