No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
