It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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