i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize