she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
