id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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