1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
