All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
