how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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