Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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