Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
