Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
