I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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