hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
