Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize