I need help removing her.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
