I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
