How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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