I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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