Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Randomize