i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize