Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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