no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize