You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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