What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
