Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
