Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
