So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
