peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
we should paint friendship bongs
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